Vampir--(A Horror Story)

[Kamikaze_Jen]

Ok, I don't believe in Ghosts or Vampires but since so many believe in them I'm sure you'll enjoy this story I wrote just for you. (Sorry if their's mistakes. I'll check it later for grammar errors and spelling mistakes) I hope you enjoy



Chapter 1

The house laid still as the wind moaned through the broken windows of an abandoned house. The house was wooden, eaten up by time and damaged by the antics of children and teenagers around the neighborhood. The stairs were broken and old pictures hung on the dusted walls. Dust sat on the old tables and antiques like a cold blanket on a frozen bed.

This house seemed to be quiet and decollate, but it wasn't. The thing about this 1901 Victorian house is what lurks inside the house. Haunted Spirits, or so everyone calls them, Ghosts, lurk beyond the abandoned shelter. Between the floorboards they torture and strike at any human being who stepped through their resting place. Their white chalk bodies show at night time, gleaming in the starry night. These ghosts could not rest until their meaning of death was found.

The neighbors had a problem with this old rickety house. Some of them wanted it torn down or even burnt down to it's ashes. Some of the neighbors wanted it fixed up and sold to a family in need. One person even said for the house to be investigated, but none of these pleas were met. Until one day, a mysterious woman came, announcing she was investigating the house. Not to burn it down or tear it up with the government's order, but to investigate it...for ghosts None of the neighbors knew that was her purpose but came to her with caution seeing her enter the poor quiet neighborhood.

The woman was named Anna. Her red hair was like a fire burning in a dry grassland and her eyes were a strange maroon that looked liked blood running through a man's veins. Her skin was pale, and her black cloak made her look like a heartless vampire. Her nose was thin and sharp, and her mouth was curved outward and thin like her figure. Everything about her seemed to be...haunting.

"My name is Anna. I belong to the S.C.O.A, you don't need to know what it stands for. All I ask is if I can have permission to enter this vacant facility for research. " Her voice carried a slight German accent, but the people gathered around her as she stated her purpose. She was standing on the stairs of the Victorian House that was painted a mint green which made the house look like a huge pile of moss, now that the paint rotted out and was chipped. Anna waited for the reply of the people, but the response was silence. After a minute, a retired postman, living next door to the house, spoke up to Anna. "When I was a young man, I saw many things in that house. Now their is nothing to see! Why investigate a house with no purpose? No life?!" Anna thought the man was babbling, but she blinked and responded. "You don't know what's in this house, sir. It's something you would call....ghosts. Besides, I work for the government and have a right to enter the house."

And with that the whole neighborhood was in commotion.
"Ghosts? Their nothing but a myth!"
"Ghosts are real! I knew they were in that house!"
"I knew it! That house was always the highlight of this neighborhood because of something!"

Anna said nothing as they fought and shouted about their own opinions. They argued and bellowed across the torn and weed covered yard, getting no where. So as they disagreed on their differences, Anna laughed to herself and slipped into the old house. Carrying a leather bag and only herself, she decided it was time to inspect the house and get rid of the haunted spirits in the old residence of The Diana family, a family of wealth and fortune, and with great secrets including the murder of the heir of the wealth, Catherine Fiona Diana. Although Catherine at the time was only 13 years old, the family was so driven with wealth and greed they killed their own family member. So the mission began as Anna switched her flashlight on and began to walk around the first room, the Living room, that was predicted to be the room of the murder.



- Jen

[Baroness]

I really like this story! :D

[Kamikaze_Jen]

I really like this story! :D

Oh, why thank you!
I forgot to mention their's more then this part though. This is chapter 1, pretty much.

But thanks again! :)

- Jen

[Baroness]

oo cool! :D

I look forward to the second chapter! ;)

[Mimi-chan]

It's sounding awesome so far! I'm really looking foward to more of it! ^_^

[Kamikaze_Jen]

It's sounding awesome so far! I'm really looking foward to more of it! ^_^

Thank you so much! I feel motivated! =D

I'll get started on Chapter two soon! Usually I don't continue with the stories I write but what do I have to lose?

- Jen

[Kamikaze_Jen]

Chapter 2

Before Anna came on the mission, she researched the house and the family that lived in it. What she found was the records of The Diana family, a family that was an extremely rich with their old toy and book business chains and lived in Washington, where Anna is now working on the current operation. In the document it stated that over the years, the rich family started to lose their money and decided to let one of their descendents, or their heirs, to take the money that was left and rebuild the Diana family with the proper use of the remaining money.

The house was built in 1901, right after Mary, the mother died of giving birth when their youngest daughter, Catherine, was born. As the years went by, the Diana family maintained the toy and book businesses they had built and managed with the help of friends and sister companies. The time of the murder was 1914, when Catherine, who turned 13 on December 13th, was given the money her father saved for 13 years right after her mother died. The two brothers, Mitch and Ben, was envious of how much money she had received and was driven with greed to get the money for themselves. Mitch was 21 with a small business going out of business itself, and the only way to keep the store going was to receive more money for the business taxes and bills. Ben was 18 and was about to get married to his lover, Trisha Smithé, who was born into an extremely rich family but was very particular about who they wanted their daughter to marry. They wanted her to marry a handsome, tall, and rich man, which is all Ben was, except for the rich trait because of the bankruptcy the Diana family was experiencing.

So that night, after the giving of presents and drinking of the finest wine, it was planned to kill Catherine and hide her body in Mary's old closet that was never used since her death. Although Catherine was murdered that night, they were not successful with the hiding of the body and were arrested by Washington police. The men were thrown into jail until the trial was heard. Then, it was execution for the murder of Catherine Fiona Diana, as they were hung on her birthday, where she would of turned 20, in 1921.

It was a cold story to read, like December frost nipping at you're bare neck perhaps, but Anna felt not a drop of pity for the family. It was her job to find the ghost of Catherine, not to feel pity on the family. She had heard worse stories.

Anna was not a person who felt pity and sadness for people who claimed to have the worst life they could have. But she had a worse life then most she had heard. When she was 13 herself she had run away from her home in Munich, Germany because of the emotional and physical abuse her parents would give her. Her parents were corrupt as they were Satanists, so her household was not a safe place to begin with. As she ran away, she remembered her Aunt Maylee and ran from Munich to the USA in week's time. In the US, she was welcomed by her Aunt and sheltered into her Aunt's home. Although her Uncle died as she was running away in Germany, her Aunt was not too depressed about his death. And although Anna had to do chores and clean and even cook, she still loved her Aunt Maylee more then her own mother who birthed her.

Time passed by, and Anna turned 18 and got a letter from a corporation called the S.C.O.A, standing for the Supernatural Corporation of America. The corporation worked for the government but was kept secret from the common people, and Anna was invited to work at the S.C.O.A because of "a mysterious power" she might of had. As soon as Anna left to New York, her Aunt Maylee died in her sleep. Anna loved her Aunt very much and couldn’t thank her Aunt enough for what she had done, but for some reason, she did not cry for her death, but felt emotionless about the whole ideal.

When Anna entered the S.C.O.A, she was greeted by the boss of the S.C.O.A, Heather Hart. Although she was a woman, she was very controlled and strict to those who slacked on their work. Usually, the workers went on missions, typed out documents of finished jobs, and took tests in the secret labs in the building. Anna felt this place a bit alarming and loud, but got used to all the commotion going on with her co-workers. Anna was placed with the job of typing and researching the documents and was welcomed by most of her co-workers in the department.

Anna had a huge interest in the paranormal, so she started to like her job as she sat in her cubicle at the S.C.O.A. She didn’t have a house, but an apartment that was close by the office building and easy to pay off. Everyday she would get breakfast and walk to work with a few cups of coffee for her co-workers. As though life was getting better, after 3 years of working at the S.C.O.A, she found out about why she was hired, and why everyone was nice to her...it seemed it was out of fear.
Anna was sipping an energy drink as she typed up her 512th document, and overhead she had heard her name being said in a conversation.

“So, do you like that Anna Svenfield in the document department? She’s from Germany and was abused by her parents. She’s a bit weird with her bright red hair and stuff. She needs some muscle in her bones because of how skinny she is. Anorexic maybe.”
The first voice sounded like a man. He sipped his coffee, making a loud slurp as he waited for an answer. She didn’t know how he knew that, but when she found out she was going to kick that man’s ass. And she wasn’t anorexic. She was naturally skinny every since she was born.
“Well, she’s really nice. Smiles a lot and stuff. But her eyes are creepy. They look like they were colored with her own blood."
The second voice was a woman this time. She sounded small and weak. She crunched on what it sounded like a bag of chips.
“Did you hear why she got the job here?”
“No.. but, how did she?”
“Yeah, she’s different all right. It was something about her childhood that made her...her.” He sounded like he was lying, but Anna had the feeling that he wasn’t.
“What is that supposed to mean?” The woman sounded afraid of what he was going to say next.
“Well, the boss told us in a special meeting about this girl before she even came. The truth is that her parents were Satanists. They used her as a sacrifice one time for Satan to take her soul...and it worked. She's also been abused by her parents a lot as well.”
The woman started to shake and groaned with fear as the mean drank his coffee once more.
“It turns out a spirit is possessing her, deep inside her. It’s too late for an exorcism, because the soul is lodged into her. The S.C.O.A arrested her parents after she ran away from home, maybe 2 months ago and they killed about 5 kids to sacrfice so they could purify themselves. Their pretty much dead...at least, until the sentence is heard.”

Anna was shocked. Her parents were finally gone but...they used her for the work of the devil... she knew they were satanists but--no--She couldn’t take it anymore. She stood up from her chair and found the couple sitting on a desk. They looked shocked as she stood there and ran away from Anna’s claret eyes. So she found the truth about her past. It was a blur when she was younger, and now she knew.

She had spoken to Heather Hart about her secrets, and Heather told her about the whole story. It turned out that Anna had a remarkable power to see, hear, and touch ghosts with her own hands. She could even control them with her mind and hands as well. So that day she was promoted to the Mission Department, where she went on projects to find ghosts and other paranormal creatures. In the Mission department, no one was friendly to her and talked behind her back when she was off on her job. Although she still had some of her friends in the Document Department, especially her best friend Mallory, (who was coming to help tonight at the Victorian House) she had felt alone since being promoted. She had missed her Aunt and she missed Germany. But there was no going back now for Anna Svenfield.
Turning back would be the last thing she would do.

Anna thought about her life as she checked the living room for any clues. However, there was nothing of importance except for a doll that had a reddish spot on the dress, so Anna placed the doll in a S.C.O.A bag and put it in her leather messenger bag. The rumors of Catherine to be murdered here might have been false, but it could of been possible.

She now headed towards the kitchen until she heard something creak in the living room. She jumped and suddenly hit the wall causing an impact on her head. She didn’t know what was going on as she felt something wrapped around herself, but suddenly she was moving by something besides her own legs. She moved towards the wall again and smacked her arm into a broken window, causing a tall thin piece of glass to impale her arm. She screamed in pain as her whole body swung uncontrollibly. Then she fell to the ground and fell unconscious. It was no doubt she was being possessed by the lost soul trapped inside of her, or something else in the house. So their must be something in this house controlling her with great spiritual skills. She lay still as if she was dead. And then, their was nothing more as she was unconscious bleeding from her right arm.

Suddenly, as if all hope was lost, a cloak flew in the air and landed gracefully onto the old rusted floor. It was a man with strange blue hair and a top hat trimmed with blue ribbon. His eyes were also a sky blue and his skin also pale like the moon. His fingernails were painted blue, and his hands were covered with dirt and dust. He pulled out his gloves and put them on over his thin fingers and lifted up Anna from her sleep. He held her up and looked at her face. He smirked a bit and jumped again into a secret passageway below the floorboards. He was a man of mystery and a man of the spirits.

- Jen

[Kamikaze_Jen]

Oh my god! My fingers might bleed! >_<
I forgot to say that chapter was over 1,000 words long so you better like it darn you! AND READ IT! Why no comments, eh?
:D :mad: :D

- Jen

[Kamikaze_Jen]

I'm writing chapter 3 now...

Suggestions or comments before I post?

- Jen

[$MiLe$!=)]

I love the storie Jen and I'm "hungry" for more. You would make a good writer in the future!But it's a little confusing is she a vampire or someone whose parents sold to Satan?

[Kamikaze_Jen]

I love the storie Jen and I'm "hungry" for more. You would make a good writer in the future!But it's a little confusing is she a vampire or someone whose parents sold to Satan?

She's pretty much a victim to Satan because her parents sold her to the devil. Although I don't think that could really happen though in real life.

The title of the story is called "Vampir--" because Vampir is german for Vampire and the man with the Blue Hair is also german, but, (Wait for it....) A vampire!

It fits in somehow. :p

- Jen

[Kamikaze_Jen]

Chapter 3
The basement of the house was hot and dusty. The sting of the glass impaled in her arm became worse as she felt something tugging the spear-like piece of glass. Suddenly, she sensed a unbearable pain as she felt the glass taken out of her arm. She opened her eyes and found a man with blue hair and a large cloak like hers. He looked straight at her and blinked. Anna stood up groaning and blood drizzled down her arm. She felt like vomiting as the wooziness crept in.

“Where...am I?” Anna questioned as the blue haired man stood up from kneeling beside her. He walked over and grabbed some medical tape he must of saved for these kinds of situations.
“This is my home, the basement of the Diana home.” He finally spoke as he kneeled again by Anna’s bleeding arm. His voice sounded suave but calming as he held out his hand and made a gesture for Anna’s arm. Anna crossed her legs as she gave her arm to the blue haired man. He put a herbal ointment with a strange aroma and cleaned off the blood that was spreading. After, he wrapped up Anna’s healing in seconds and was finished with the task.

“You’re quite the medic, aren’t you?” Anna examined as her arm felt as if it was already healed. This didn’t compare to her other injuries, so it didn’t hurt too much.

“I'm used to healing my own wounds.” The man said as he put the medical tools into an old oak drawer. Anna stood up and took out her badge. As the man turned around, she displayed the badge to his Sky Blue eyes. “My name is Anna Svenfield of the Mission Department at the government run corporation, S.C.OA. Your name, please?”

He smiled a little and took off his top hat onto a old hat rack. “My name is Adolf. I can hear a little German accent in you’re voice. Are you from Germany?”
Anna was a bit surprised as he noticed her accent. Most people told her she sounded like she never stepped into Germany, but this man was different. Something was suspicious about his stature. His appearance...and his voice.

“Yes, I am German. You also must be German, with the uncommon name of Adolf.”
Adolf smirked and put his finger on his chin, in a thinking state. “That is right, Anna.”
Anna clipped her badge back on her pocket and sat down into a wooden oak chair, which was also aged and dusty, but she didn’t mind, being into many old houses herself. She crossed her legs and folder her arms as Adolf took off his cloak, revealing a Victorian suit colored with shades of many blues including azure, navy, and sapphire. He held his hands out in the air making another gesture. “I’m sure as a person in the Supernatural Corporation, I’m sure you want to ask me questions.”

"Yes, Mr. Adolf. First tell me what you're purpose is in this house."

He also sat down but placed himself in a velvet arm chair Adolf placed his hands together making a triangle with his limp fingers. "I am the spirit keeper of this house. I protect the ghosts that are being disturbed...and like I said, this is my home"

"So you're the one who attacked me? With a ghost?"

"Yes, if that's how you look at it. Actually, I saved you're life by controlling that ghost. I don't control all of them you know."
Anna batted her eyelids and she uncrossed her legs. This man had a secret he was hiding...
"You're not human are you, then?"

"No, I am not. But if I told you my real heritage it may shock you."

"I'm not easily shocked, Mr. Adolf."
He smirked and opened his mouth to yawn. Suddenly she saw what she expected. Vampire teeth.
"Yes, I am a vampire. Well, I’m only Half vampire...it's not really possible but I am what I am." Being a bit shocked Anna stared at his sharp white teeth that looked stained and dirty. But he merely laughed and responded, “Don’t worry, I have a different diet then human blood.”

Anna closed her eyes and put her fingers under her chin. She was still going to shake all the information out of him about the murder and the house before she left or even continued. Although it was her mission to stay, she was going to abandon the case as soon as he told her the history of it all. Besides, Vampires don’t die quite easily, so he must of been alive for a long time...well, him being a Half-Vampire, she wasn't too sure of his lifespan.
“So, do you know anything about the house before the Catherine Murder Case?”

“Yes, I was alive then. I was Catherine’s body guard.”
“Interesting...supposedly, you can tell me all about Catherine and the Murder and where her soul lurks then?”
Adolf sighed and let out a soft cough and began the story. He started with the description of Catherine.

“Well...Catherine was 5’0, short, and was always kind to people. She loved the business life. She didn’t like her brothers but loved me as if I was her only brother.”

“So you had a relationship with Catherine?”
“A friendly one, yes. Not a twisted one.” He smirked a bit and went on. “The day of the murder, I believe, I was getting groceries from the general store for my wife, Janie. She was the cook of the household. The living room was quiet and the kitchen is where Janie and I where at. I heard a scream in the bedroom and there she was. Her father got the police immediately.

Although the boys were taken away, Catherine’s father went with the police for some questioning. Me and Janie were alone. I told her we should get out of here and she accepted. So, me and her went to pack up and go as soon as possible. We were very afraid, at the moment, but when I think about it, it was as if it was meant to happen...anyway, my stuff was upstairs, and hers was upstairs, where we are now, and that’s when I was bitten by a bat.”

“I see....I guess the murder was upstairs then.” Anna interrupted. Although he began to speak about his life, he saved her the question. She nodded after she was in the thinking gesture and waved her hand for him to go on. He nodded and continued. “When the bat bit me, I went beserk. I ruined the whole room, I broke everything...even my bed and was driven mad. When she came to check on me...I guess it was instinct...but I killed her and drank her own blood.”

“Natural diet.” Anna inquired.

Adolf lowered his eyebrows and crossed his arms in disgust. “Don’t taunt of my wife and her death. It wasn’t me. It was the thing that possesses me to this day.”

“You mean...”

“I was possessed by a troubled ghost. And I still am. That must be why I'm a half-vampire, right?”

Now Anna met her match as Shock struck her gut. So it just wasn’t her...anyone could receive the powers after the sacrifice of their own soul.
“So as time passed I lurked down here scaring kids and juveniles and even adults as they tried to enter here. I can control ghosts, so it was an easy task. The weird thing is that you’re possessed too, that‘s half of the reason why you lived. We share a power, a bond really.” Anna nodded, but she was still in shock. She knew all that she needed to know.

“Thank you for you’re help, Mr. Adolf, but I must go now and tell the S.C.O.A. about the discovery.”

Adolf stood up as Anna rose from her chair. Adolf put on his hat and cloak as she tried to leave, and asked her as she tried to open the door, “Please..." He paused for a second and asked, "may I come with you?”
Anna let go of the doorknob and wrapped her cloak around herself. “But...wouldn’t the sunlight burn you’re flesh?”

“Oh please, I am Half-Vampire. It’s garlic and stakes that kill me, I'm sure. Mirrors are also an exception.”
Anna smiled. “We might need you for the S.C.O.A anyway. I would be honored to take you, but first...do you think you could you show me the murder room?”
Adolf buttoned his old cloak and tossed his top hat onto his head and opened to door with his light hands. “Follow me upstairs. I’ll make sure you don’t get hit by a ghost again.”

“I can protect myself.” Anna suddenly raised her hand and out popped a white chalky ghost from a crack in the wall. She wrapped her hands together and it disappeared.
“What did you--?”
“Let’s go.”
Anna stepped by Adolf and strutted her way upstairs. Adolf blushed as he looked at her one last time before he followed her to the upstairs.


- Jen

[Kamikaze_Jen]

Sorry, this chapter isn't too detailed or researched on. I don't know if a vampire can live forever or have no effect to sunlight if their half human and half vampire. :p

- Jen

[crimsonbutterfly23]

Ok, I don't believe in Ghosts or Vampires but since so many believe in them I'm sure you'll enjoy this story I wrote just for you. (Sorry if their's mistakes. I'll check it later for grammar errors and spelling mistakes) I hope you enjoy



Chapter 1

The house lay still as the wind moaned through the broken windows of a abandoned house. The house was wooden, eaten up by time and damaged by the antics of teenagers around the neighborhood. The stairs were broken and old pictures hung on the dusted walls. Dusted sat on the old tables and antiques like a cold blanket on a cold bed.

This house seemed to be quiet and decollate, but it wasn't. The thing about this 1901 Victorian house is what lurks in the house. Haunted Spirits, or so everyone calls them, Ghosts, lurk beyond the abandoned shelter. Between the floorboards they torture and strike at any human being who stepped through their resting place. Their white chalk bodies showed at night time, gleaming in the starry night. These ghosts could not rest until their meaning of death was found...



- Jen


pretty good, intruiging plot so far. the only thing that is wrong is that you change tense-meaning that you'll start with active voice or 'present/narration' tense then change to past tense or passive voice. for example: "this house is blue" is in the present tense/active voice, people speak in the active voice unless talking about something that has already happened. while "the house was wooden" or "the house lay still as the wind moaned..." is in the passive/past tense.

as well, you have a few spelling mistakes(though not many) and are "telling" the reader too much. if you want your reader to know the house isn't desolate and quiet SHOW them rather than just say it isn't.

you did do things well, your diction is great and the imagery is nice as well. you also created suspense with the introduction of a new and mysterious character at the end of chapter one. so like i said, there's some things you did well and others you need to work on :)

[Luna-chan]

First of all, nice job on the story. I like the ideas behind the main character: her back story, her description and appearance, and the loss of soul. Speaking of which, does she have her soul currently and will it be taken by the devil when she dies, or does she not have it now and there is something in it's place? By the way, I picture Adolf to be pretty good looking :D . Who can resist a blue-haired vampire?
I think that you need to work on your pacing of the story though. It seems rushed and unfocused. The flashbacks are a bit jumbled too. Then there's
misspelling, changes in sentance structure, and redundancy.
Well, keep up the good work. I hope I have been helpful in some way, and I can't wait to read more! ;)

[Cherry]

Cool story so far! Intersting plot :o

No, vampires do not live forever, and there is no such thing as a half vampire. Sunlight does affect vampires,; it burns the eyes and the light relects oddly ^w^

[$MiLe$!=)]

Actually Cherry it depends which vampire tales you belive. One of my favorite writer of all times Amelia Atwater-Rhodes describes her vampires as being able to walk in sunlight, mingle with human, and only their reflection blurred in mirrors. Then in other books they describe vampires as being burned by sunlight, nocturnal, and cold blooded hunters. So it depends.

Also write more soon Jen

[Kamikaze_Jen]

pretty good, intruiging plot so far. the only thing that is wrong is that you change tense-meaning that you'll start with active voice or 'present/narration' tense then change to past tense or passive voice. for example: "this house is blue" is in the present tense/active voice, people speak in the active voice unless talking about something that has already happened. while "the house was wooden" or "the house lay still as the wind moaned..." is in the passive/past tense.

as well, you have a few spelling mistakes(though not many) and are "telling" the reader too much. if you want your reader to know the house isn't desolate and quiet SHOW them rather than just say it isn't.

you did do things well, your diction is great and the imagery is nice as well. you also created suspense with the introduction of a new and mysterious character at the end of chapter one. so like i said, there's some things you did well and others you need to work on :)

I never really caught onto that as I was reading. I'm so sorry, I might read it again and get the tense done right. And I suck at spelling and never get the time to do a grammar check before I continue. :o

Thanks crimson! =D

First of all, nice job on the story. I like the ideas behind the main character: her back story, her description and appearance, and the loss of soul. Speaking of which, does she have her soul currently and will it be taken by the devil when she dies, or does she not have it now and there is something in it's place? By the way, I picture Adolf to be pretty good looking :D . Who can resist a blue-haired vampire?
I think that you need to work on your pacing of the story though. It seems rushed and unfocused. The flashbacks are a bit jumbled too. Then there's
misspelling, changes in sentance structure, and redundancy.
Well, keep up the good work. I hope I have been helpful in some way, and I can't wait to read more! ;)

And to Luna-Chan-Pen-Pal-Friend...

I haven't thought of the place where her soul is, but I might describe it later.

For the pacing the story I have a huge problem with not reading my stories and not finding mistakes. So I will fix the flashback parts and the other problems, especially mispelling.(um....redundancy? I need a dictionary)

Thank you alls for the critiscm. I needed it. =D

And yes, I am planning to make Adolf a stud. >=D
- Jen

[Kamikaze_Jen]

I got all the chapters updated and edited!

Thanks so much for the opinions. I finally figured out what redundancy was...and I guess I did some of that. I hope it's better now. I also added a new character sort of, Mallory, Anna's best friend. So... please wait for Chapter 4! It'll be here soon! :D

- Jen