The Human Machine (poem)

[spazzycat]

Hello. If you are a poetry person and have a comment, please share! I can't get anyone to give me actual analysis. I numbered the lines so you can comment on specific things, maybe?

My skull is a prison for numbers and figures (1)

Electronic charges and symbols (2)

That spell out warnings and signs (3)

I’m made of curved lines and circles (4)

Lacking hard facts or straight answers (5)

Pulsing rivers wrapped in pink rubber (6)

My emotions caged inside (7)

There are two blank spaces for windows (8)

Complete with lock-down lids and glass curtains (9)

Five senses and instinct (10)

To compensate for a organized mind (11)

And I never cross my lines (12)

[Asia]

^_^ I like it. :P

[Kamikaze_Jen]

Hey that's pretty cool! =]

- Jen

[spazzycat]

Thankyous! Any commentary, tho? Or lines that you thought were too juvenile?

[Moody Strawberry]

I liked line 9, It took me a while to get though.

[spazzycat]

I liked line 9, It took me a while to get though.
Thankyou! I'm actually really proud of that imagery, but I think it's too long a phrase...

[Rococo maiden]

I think it's good. . .I especially liked lines 1 and 6. . .'pulsing rivers wrapped in pink rubber' expresses a very unique view, and the words roll and mesh together well (besides being pleasurable on the tongue:) The poem seems to represent a sort of introspective revery, but more in a sort of unattached, not overly emotional sort of way that I thought was refreshing to read. In other words, I though you kept an excellent balance between emotion and practicality. Tell me if I'm totally off! :( Anyway, there were several sentences and images that really spoke to me, and I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work! :D

[spazzycat]

I think it's good. . .I especially liked lines 1 and 6. . .'pulsing rivers wrapped in pink rubber' expresses a very unique view, and the words roll and mesh together well (besides being pleasurable on the tongue:) The poem seems to represent a sort of introspective revery, but more in a sort of unattached, not overly emotional sort of way that I thought was refreshing to read. In other words, I though you kept an excellent balance between emotion and practicality. Tell me if I'm totally off! :( Anyway, there were several sentences and images that really spoke to me, and I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work! :D

THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT. Thankyou so much! That's a huge compliment, to have someone say that they feel the same vibe from a piece that you, the creator, do. Thankyou so much!
(and btw, I love your signature :) I'll tell you if I ever learn to time-travel, okay? we can go shopping.....)